First Reading: Deuteronomy 30:15-20
15“See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil. 16If you obey the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you today, by loving the Lord your God, by walking in his ways, and by keeping his commandments and his statutes and his rules, then you shall live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take possession of it. 17But if your heart turns away, and you will not hear, but are drawn away to worship other gods and serve them, 18I declare to you today, that you shall surely perish. You shall not live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to enter and possess. 19I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, 20loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.”
Psalm 1
1Happy are they who have not walked in the counsel of the wicked, nor lingered in the way of sinners, nor sat in the seats of the scornful! 2Their delight is in the law of the Lord, and they meditate on his law day and night. 3They are like trees planted by streams of water, bearing fruit in due season, with leaves that do not wither; everything they do shall prosper. 4It is not so with the wicked; they are like chaff which the wind blows away. 5Therefore the wicked shall not stand upright when judgment comes, nor the sinner in the council of the righteous. 6For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked is doomed.
Second Reading: Philemon 1-21
1Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our beloved fellow worker 2and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house: 3Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 4I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, 5because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, 6and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. 7For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you. 8Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you — I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus — 10I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. 11(Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) 12I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. 13I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, 14but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. 15For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, 16no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother — especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. 17So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. 18If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it — to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. 21Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.
Gospel: Luke 14:25-35
25Great crowds accompanied {Jesus}, and he turned and said to them, 26“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. 28For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. 34Salt is good, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? 35It is of no use either for the soil or for the manure pile. It is thrown away. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
Hate Mom and Dad
A lady in Vancouver, Washington wanted to sell an old Brothers’ sewing machine, so she took out an ad in her local paper. But when the ad appeared, it simply read “Brother for sale.” Worse yet, the ad appeared in the “Items under $50” section. Believe it or not, she actually received a couple of calls inquiring about the ad. One wanted to haggle over the price. The other caller hung up when they learned that there wasn’t a real, live brother being offered on the market.
I thought about this ad when I read today’s gospel lesson. Jesus said, “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple . . .” This is another one of Jesus’ difficult statements, and we talked about these “Hard Sayings” a couple of weeks ago. For many who read this passage, the first thought that comes to mind is, wait, our congregation, and our denomination as well, cherishes our families. We’re also taught that hate is wrong.
Look at the various teachings and statements the NALC has on marriage, family, and life. Look at what the Bible says in other places about love and the importance of family. With all these instructions on family care, why then does Jesus say that we must hate our father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters? Oh, sure, we get a little upset with them from time to time. We don’t always get along, but to hate? This command seems out of character coming from the One who gave His life for us.
It’s like the lady who was showing an insurance agent through her home. He pointed to an beautiful vase on the sideboard and asked, “Do you keep anything in it?” “Yes, my husband’s ashes,” came the reply. “I am sorry,” apologized the agent, “I didn’t know he was deceased.” “Oh, he isn’t,” she said. “He’s just too lazy to look for an ashtray.” We all get frustrated with those we love. But hate them? This passage is troubling. Maybe that’s the intent. Jesus made this statement to grab our attention. So we need to go beyond this passage, and take into account where the word hate is used elsewhere in the Bible. When we examine the Greek word mis-eh’-o and the Hebrew word saw-nay we need to look at these passages in context. Oftentimes the word we translate as hate, actually means to love less. This is the case here in Luke’s retelling of this story.
What’s helpful is for us to look at Matthew’s report of Jesus’ words, he softens them a bit. According to Matthew, Jesus says, “He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me, and he who does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37-39). By looking at both passages we can begin to get a better understanding of what Jesus is saying. Knowing this helps us to study this passage with less distraction. Honestly, for the average person, could Jesus really expect them to hate their family, especially their father and mother? Of course not, however, we must also take into account that there are some dysfunctional families in our community.
Liesel Brooks remembers the day she turned her back on her family. She rejected her parents and ran from her past the day she discovered that her parents had been members of the Nazi Party during World War II. Over the next few years, Liesel became estranged from her parents. But her rejection of them didn’t bring her any peace. In fact, she felt a strange gulf in her life. She struggled with guilt and shame and a lack of identity. Then, Liesel happened to meet a woman named Rachel.
Rachel was a Jew who was also estranged from her family as well. Ironically, Rachel rejected her parents because they had survived the Holocaust. That may sound outrageous to us, but to Rachel, their survival was a betrayal of their Jewish identity. Together, Rachel and Liesel were able to forgive their parents and reconnect with their families. Both women found healing and peace in releasing the past and rebuilding family relationships. So, it is possible to hate your own family and feel justified in doing so. I don’t believe this is God’s will for us.
We must acknowledge that Jesus often spoke in an exaggerated way. He did this to shock His listeners into paying closer attention to the lesson He was teaching. In this particular case, He wanted them, and us, to understand the radical nature of the commitment He was asking them to make. Jesus wanted people to be aware of the cost of carrying their cross for the gospel. This is made clear as we read the rest of the lesson.
Jesus continued, “Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, saying, “This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.” Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? . . . So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.”
Wait a minute, Jesus went from telling us to hate one’s family to giving up one’s possessions in just 6 sentences. How are these two connected. Jesus is not only asking us to put Him and the work of the kingdom over my family, but now He’s also asking me to give up my big screen TV, my luxury SUV, and my fancy battery powered hand tools. A lot of this stuff I occasionally use to help other people. So, is Jesus really asking me to sell all my possessions or to get rid of my family? Again, of course not. Jesus is trying to make a point here. This is a matter of priorities. What takes precedence in our life and what do we spend most of our time doing? We must ask ourselves the really tough questions here. How important is my relationship with God?
When I was preparing to deploy for Desert Shield, I had one of my young mothers, who was slated to deploy, come to me wondering if she was a conscientious objector or not. Together we went to an authority on the subject, and the officer asked a single question, would you defend your child even if it meant you killing someone else? For the vast majority, the question is simple to answer, of course: we would do whatever is necessary to defend a family member, especially our child. We need to ask ourselves the same question, what would we be willing to do to defend our family?
Would you be willing to give up your life if it was absolutely necessary? Again, the vast majority of people would say they would do whatever is necessary if it meant saving the life of a family member or even a close friend. I think all of us resonate with Jesus’ words in John 15:13, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” But let me ask this, what would you be willing to do for your witness for Christ? In this country, we’re under no threat of physical harm for our religious beliefs. But as we all know, the same cannot be said for many places around the world. Many have been martyred, tortured, or imprisoned for simply being a Christian. But what about you and me? What are our priorities in this life?
How far are we willing to go to put God absolutely first in our lives? Will we prioritize our call as disciples over family, friends, prosperity, popularity, convenience? We all know what the Greatest Commandment is; Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30). Think about what Jesus is saying here, we’re to be devoted to God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. We’re to love God so much that we give Him our all. It’s a dated report but I think it’s still revealing today.
In the early eighties, a Michigan State University study reported that one third of four- and five-year-olds would give up their relationship with their dad for television. I pray things have changed, but I see little evidence of it. When you consider that the average employed American watches forty hours of television a week, you have to wonder if some parents don’t use electronic devices as a substitute for spending quality time with their family.
After one couple returned home from a Family Life Marriage Conference, the husband immediately walked into the family room and unplugged the TV. With the cord dangling and wide-eyed kids in tow, he hugged the set and carried it to the garage. In the empty place where the television had once stood, he hung a picture of the family. Their five-year-old son sat down on the floor, staring at the portrait. Then he looked up at his dad and asked, “Does this mean we’re going to become a family?” There’s too much evidence of God’s love for the family in the Bible for me to tell you that Jesus wants us to get rid of our families. However, Jesus does want us to ask this question: where does my ultimate loyalty lie? What is my top priority? There are times when there is a decided conflict between love for family, or love for possessions, and love for God.
There are still families in the world today where, if a son or a daughter were to become a Christian, the parents would disown their own child and have no further contact with them. You and I are blessed to live in a country where we can openly share our faith without fear. But the question is, does this easy profession of our faith make it better or worse when it comes to our devotion to God? Some of us, maybe most of us, would have to reluctantly admit that it’s worse.
Sure, we love our congregation, we faithfully support the budget and various ministries of the church. But when it comes to our ultimate loyalty to God or our families, or even the things we own, we struggle to decide on what commands our ultimate loyalty. Who, or what, has top priority in our lives? What is of absolute importance? For most of us, this is a sobering question, and one that many of us are not forced to answer. Fortunately for us, we’re not faced with a situation where we are being forced to decide, but the very harshness of Jesus’ words in our gospel reading should makes us pause and reflect on the question. Thankfully, the question about possessions is much easier to deal with.
Most of us recognize that our possessions are temporary and are gifts God has given us for our work in His kingdom. Prioritizing family over things is an easier decision. We all understand that what we have has all been entrusted to us and it all ultimately belongs to God. Thus, we use what God has given us to support our families and the church. It’s all a question of priorities. It’s a question of loyalty.
Jesus’ words, in our gospel reading, have hopefully grabbed our attention. However, I wonder–in light of our present world–what would Jesus say to us today about this passage? Would He say that it isn’t love for Him that’s causing us to hate our families today, but love for the world. There was a story recently in Time magazine titled, “Does Kindergarten Need Cops?” It told of a study done by Partnership for Children, a child-advocacy group in Fort Worth, Texas.
According to this study, angry outbursts and violence are on the rise today in kindergarten classrooms. You heard me correctly, kindergarten. It appears to be a trend throughout the country. Ninety-three percent of the teachers who responded to the study said that they had seen an increase in emotional and behavioral problems in young children over the last five years. The question is, what accounts for this trend?
Is it violence on television? Is it exposure to vicious video games? I’m convinced these contribute. But many teachers and psychologists believe that it’s a simple lack of family time that is the biggest contributor to the problem. Parents are working longer hours; they don’t have as much time to spend with their children. It’s in the simple rhythms of family life that our children learn socialization skills. They learn the difference between right and wrong; they learn effective ways of coping with emotions and impulses, they learn self-control. As one veteran teacher said, “Kids aren’t getting enough lap time.”
In today’s materialistic world we all must guard against the belief that if we provide our children with nice things we’re meeting their primary needs. Nice things will never compensate for our time and loving attention. That’s the first thing Jesus might say to us. It isn’t loyalty to Him that’s the problem; it’s our loyalty to the world. The second thing Jesus might say is that loyalty to Him usually produces more loyalty to those we love, not less. A pastor shared the story of two of his parishioners, Estelle and Nick. These two met at church, where they both served faithfully.
Estelle and Nick’s story seemed to be that of a match made in heaven. They married and started a family. And then one day, things started falling apart. Nick started drinking socially with his office friends and soon his social drinking turned into a dependency on alcohol. He then became argumentative and violent toward Estelle. She had every right to leave him. Friends and family urged her to get a divorce. But Estelle held firm to her belief that God could change her husband. She prayed fervently for him. When he lost his job due to his drinking, Estelle went out and got a job to support the family. She urged her children to believe in God, to pray for their father, and to not be bitter. Years passed, and nothing changed.
Finally, when Nick was in his seventies, he gave up drinking for good. He remained completely sober for the last fifteen years of his life. After decades of heartfelt prayer, Estelle’s precious husband was restored to her. She never turned bitter and never lost her faith. The pastor proudly shares this story because this is a story of faith and restoration, and because it’s the story of his family.
Sadly, this isn’t always the case. Estelle remained committed to God and to her family and because of this she witnessed two miracles: one in her husband’s life and one in her son’s. Jesus might say to us today, loyalty to Him usually produces more loyalty to those we love, not less.
There’s one last thing that must be said, in fairness to our text: If you ever must make a choice, our first loyalty is to God. Everything in this world belongs to God. Our possessions. Our bodies. Our hopes and dreams. Even those we love. Everything belongs to God. Here’s where the rubber meets the road, it’s easy for us to be people of God. Too easy. We’re like Job before he was afflicted. Remember the story? God says about Job: “Behold a righteous man” And Satan says, “Of course, he is righteous. Look at all you’ve done for him.” And in this thought-provoking drama, God allows Satan to take everything from Job, his family, his wealth and even his health.
Sitting in ashes, covered with boils, even his wife tells him to curse God and die. Upon getting word that his children have died in a great wind that devastated their house, we read these words: “Then Job arose, tore his robe, shaved his head, and fell on the ground and worshiped. He said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Did Job hate his family? No. Did he hate his vast possessions? No. Did he hate his own body? No. The story of Job is also about priorities. Job loved God more.
It’s a question all of us need to think about; what holds top priority in our lives? If push came to shove, who or what would we be ultimately devoted to. My prayer is that if there ever comes a time when we must make a choice, I pray each of us will say, “Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Amen