First Reading: Ezekiel 33:7-9
7“So you, son of man, I have made a watchman for the house of Israel. Whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me. 8If I say to the wicked, O wicked one, you shall surely die, and you do not speak to warn the wicked to turn from his way, that wicked person shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. 9But if you warn the wicked to turn from his way, and he does not turn from his way, that person shall die in his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul.”
Psalm 32:1-6
1Happy are they whose transgressions are forgiven, and whose sin is put away! 2Happy are they to whom the Lord imputes no guilt, and in whose spirit there is no guile! 3While I held my tongue, my bones withered away, because of my groaning all day long. 4For your hand was heavy upon me day and night; my moisture was dried up as in the heat of summer. 5Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and did not conceal my guilt. 6I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” Then you forgave me the guilt of my sin.
Second Reading: Romans 13:1-10
1Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. 2Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. 3For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, 4for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. 5Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. 6For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. 7Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed. 8Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 10Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
Gospel: Matthew 18:1-20
1At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them 3and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, 6but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. 7Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! 8And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. 9And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire. 10See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. 12What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? 13And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. 14So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish. 15If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
Where Two or More are Gathered
It’s among the most recognizable and oft recited passages that people quote; it comes at the conclusion of our Gospel Reading for this morning: “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” (Matthew 18:20). Jesus’ words serve as a reminder that whenever believers gather to worship, pray, and serve, the Spirit of Christ is present. Anytime we come together in Jesus’ name, something special happens and our gathering is more than simply you, me, and perhaps a friend; if we are in agreement, within our midst is the Spirit and presence of the living God. This is a promise that is both affirming and encouraging for the faithful within the church. However, we must be careful, we cannot simply stop at this verse, we need to back up to the preceding verses because there’s a lot more going on here than the promise of the Spirit’s presence.
As an offer of proof that you can’t study scripture enough, as I was beginning to prepare for today, the Holy Spirit prompted me to make a connection I had never made before. Backing up to verse 15, this section begins with Jesus telling us, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Now this connection doesn’t negate the promise Jesus makes in the final verse, but it does add a new layer to what Jesus is saying here. A layer that we simply cannot ignore.
While this chapter starts out dealing with how we are to respect those in government, and to obey those laws that are not contrary to God’s laws, this chapter is also about dealing with conflict between ourselves and our neighbors. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that these five verses are the passages that church leaders use when dealing with conflict between neighbors, friends, and family, it’s also instructions for the church as a whole. Therefore, how we deal with conflict both in our worldly relationships, as well as our church relationships, are important.
Last week, in the Romans reading, St. Paul gave us a list of rules, if you must, guidelines, to live by. I like to call these rules Paul’s “10 Commandments for living as a believer.” Among those commands is one that goes together with our Gospel lesson for today: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people” (12:18). Jesus commands us to love one another as He loves us and throughout His earthly life, Jesus demonstrated those words as He welcomed the outcasts, blessed those in need, and proclaimed the grace and mercy of God through the cross. As Christians, we follow the example and the way of Jesus; we seek to love as Jesus loves, to care for those around us as Jesus cares, and at times that can be a struggle for us, especially when we face difficult people and hurtful situations. The test of Christian love is how we act when it’s hard for us to love and there is perhaps no time more difficult for us to show Christian love than when someone has hurt us.
It would be nice if I could tell you that conflict never happens among God’s people, but the truth is, Jesus calls us, flawed as we are, with our pride, opinions, pain, our anger, our fears, and everything else that we have within us, to be the church, the body of Christ, in this world. When we gather and live close to one another in faith, there are times when we hurt each the other. Most often, it’s not malicious, but sometimes it is. When I say this, I’m not talking about any explicit issue in particular or any situation within a individual congregation or denomination. I’m talking about Jesus’ commands here in today’s reading and about what happens within the church and within our lives. It can take place in any congregation or gathering of believers anywhere in the world. It could happen in our personal lives, with friends, and with family. The reality is, when we open ourselves up to people, the potential is there for someone we trust to hurt us. There are times when someone we’re connected to causes us pain.
Please notice that I said, “It could happen in our personal lives, with friends, and with family” and someone we trust might hurt us. It’s not an absolute guarantee, but it is highly probable. Interpersonal conflict can and does happen because of a quarrel, misunderstandings, a dispute, an argument, a difficulty, or whatever else we call it, with those around us. We’ve all experienced it, tempers flare, words are spoken, actions are taken, and we will feel hurt, angry, and resentful. At times, we find it difficult to love those who have done such a thing. As GK Chesterton once pointed out, “Jesus commands us to love our neighbor and to love our enemy because often they are the same person.”
When a person close to us hurts us, we experience conflict because we feel hurt, anger, bitterness, resentment, and might even wish the person harm. When that happens, we’re in danger of losing friends, we experience feelings of rejection, we foster emotions of hard feelings, and we start to wonder how we can possibly be in the same room with the person; we feel the need to do something, usually, something uncharitable. And these feelings only build over time if not addressed.
Because those hurtful emotions build within our hearts, we stop being witnesses to God’s grace and mercy. We’re no longer able to fully follow Jesus because our hearts are filled with revenge and hurt. We’re unable to pray the 5th petition of the Lord’s prayer, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespasses against us.” In today’s gospel lesson, Jesus describes for us what we should do, to reconcile, to rebuild the relationship, and to move past the emotions and situation. When we’ve been hurt, we may feel there’s nothing we should do. After all, we’re the ones who’s been wronged.
We may believe it’s the other person’s responsibility to come to us. However, we need to consider this: is it possible the other person doesn’t know they’ve wronged us? Is it possible that the other person is clueless to the pain they’ve caused? As people commanded to love others, we’re directed to reach out and seek reconciliation and bring peace within our relationships. Remember what St. Paul directed, “so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.” We’re entreated to consider the possibility that the act was completely unintentional, possibly a bad joke, words spoken that were never meant to cause pain. And the first step we take in love is to talk to the other person.
A great many problems with other people come about because we think they said something, or felt something, or did something, when in fact they did not. Most often, all it takes for us to reconcile is to speak to the person and allow them to explain. Or, maybe the hurt they caused was in response to something we did or said. We must consider the fact that the harm to us was caused unintentionally, was unknown, or even that it was caused by something we did. We also need to accept the fact that we’re reluctant to go to our neighbor out of fear of confrontation. None of us want to be confrontational. But going to the other isn’t always being confrontational. Have we considered that the conversation might be welcomed?
For followers of Jesus, we are commanded to take the first step with our neighbor. We’re directed to go and talk to them. We need to talk, and to listen, in order to correct misunderstandings and ensure that questions are asked, perspectives are shared, and people are heard. More often than not, when the other person hears that what they’ve done, when they understand that they’ve hurt us, they will ask for forgiveness and sincerely apologize. It can and does happen. This should be our ultimate hope and prayer, that by open and honest discussion, reconciliation can happen and we can have peace with others. Sadly, we must also acknowledge that, on occasion, the conversation may not end so well. But this shouldn’t let this possibility override our need to go and talk with our neighbor.
The truth is, sometimes talking to someone who has wronged you goes nowhere. In cases such as this, Jesus tells us to get one or two others and go back to try and solve the problem. That may sound strange, but we need to consider a couple of things. The Bible talks about the need for two or three people to give testimony (Deuteronomy 19:15) because we often require different perspectives to help us see the truth. How many times have we had a disagreement with someone and believed we were in the right, but when a third party tells us we are wrong then we reconsider? This is why, at this point, we’re told to bring one or two others into the conversation. It has nothing to do with ganging up on the other. We don’t simply bring people who will agree with us and whatever we say, rather, we bring someone to listen and share and who is able to give wise council to both sides.
We need someone who perhaps can help us see the situation with a fresh set of eyes and hear with an unbiased point of view. Sometimes that’s all that’s required to help both people see what’s going on. Bringing two or three witnesses doesn’t mean it comes to a vote on right or wrong, it’s intended for us to gain a wider perspective and better understand the situation. Having trusted counsel can also help keep God’s grace and mercy in the conversation, remember how Jesus closed this passage? “When two or three are gathered in my name, I am among them?” The point of bringing in a couple of people is to keep God in the situation.
If you can’t work out the dispute one on one, chances are it gets deeper and more personal quickly and having someone to help calm things down, allowing God’s peace and grace to rule in what is unfolding is, literally, a godsend. Much of the time that’s all that’s needed. Sometimes we agree to disagree, we mend fences, we figure out a way to move past the argument or slight. But occasionally, a more formal process of dispute resolution is needed and that’s okay too. We have those mechanisms in place in churches because sometimes the wisdom and patience, the experience and the skills of the whole church need to be brought to bear on what’s happening. Again, that doesn’t magically wipe away what took place, but it can set us on the path to reconciliation.
Sometimes an outsider can help us to see everything in a new light. Perhaps showing us what we haven’t seen or perhaps speaking the words that help the other person know how they’ve wrong us. Sadly, on a rare occasion, even that isn’t enough. Despite talking one on one, then involving others, reconciliation cannot be achieved and it’s here that Jesus gives us the third step. Please note that I didn’t say the final step. Our hope and prayer is that ultimately reconciliation can take place. The third step we’re given to take is for us to take it to the church.
Again, the hope for reconciliation is our hope and prayer. We need to come back together. We need to make a new relationship where the old one has broken down and there are times when we need the checks and balances, as well as the authority of the church, to encourage and support that happening. Yet the reality is that sometimes even that isn’t enough and despite all our prayer filled efforts, the person refuses to admit to wrong and refuses to change their ways. At that point we are told “…let him be to you as a gentile or a tax collector” (Matthew 18:17b). In other words, let that person be as an outsider or someone who behaves in unacceptable ways.
Gentiles were outside the faith, and tax collectors in the ancient world acted in a way that everyone recognized was dishonest and evil. Yet I believe those words also point us back to Jesus because before we leap to the conclusion that we should shun and despise those we cannot reconcile with, let’s keep in mind the one speaking these words. Jesus welcomed the tax collectors and Gentiles in His ministry and offered them the grace and love of God in His actions and His words.
Jesus taught that they were children of God and worthy of the salvation He brought to the earth. Yet He never did the things they were known for — rejecting God and cheating people and that’s the distinction we’re to make as well. So with these words we are not given license to hate those we cannot reconcile with but rather we’re encouraged to approach them as people who need to hear and see the good news of Jesus Christ. We treat those people with respect and we love them, but we do not use their behavior or words as a model for our speech or action. We continue to pray for them, and we look to the time when we can reconcile.
Throughout our gospel passage there is the understanding that we’re to treat one another with the grace and mercy of Christ leading us, and allow Him to shape our words and behavior. We want God to be with us when we come to worship and pray, and we look for God’s wisdom and strength to lead us when we’re hurting and in need of healing for ourselves and our relationships. St. Paul in his letter to the Philippians gives this advice to keep our conscience clear and “…let your way of life be worthy of the Good News of Christ” (1:27). When we gather in Christ’s name, we are assured of the presence of the divine among us and we ask God to guide us so that we can become people who do not merely speak about grace and love, but demonstrate those words with our lives.
We’re never given permission to hurt and revile anyone for what they’ve done. Not when we first disagree, not when others try to help us sort things out, and not even when we’re unable to reconcile. We’re called to love them. We can certainly refuse to be a part of what they are doing, we can protect ourselves from their behavior and words, we can even separate ourselves from them, but we’re never allowed to hate them.
We are commanded to love others … period. It doesn’t matter if we get along or we don’t, the command is still the same. Our love for God and for others is the basis of our thoughts, words, and actions. How we treat those we cannot reconcile with or even get along with, is a powerful statement of our faithfulness in following the One who loved even those who crucified Him. Our love for one another, especially those who have wronged us, just may be our strongest witness to God in the world.
Amen.