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Sermon for the 20th Sunday after Pentecost

First Reading: Genesis 2:18-25

 18The Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

 

Psalm 128

 1Happy are they all who fear the Lord, and who follow in his ways! 2You shall eat the fruit of your labor; happiness and prosperity shall be yours. 3Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house, your children like olive shoots round about your table. 4The man who fears the Lord shall thus indeed be blessed. 5The Lord bless you from Zion, and may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life. 6May you live to see your children’s children; may peace be upon Israel.

 

 Second Reading: Hebrews 2:1-18

 1Therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it. 2For since the message declared by angels proved to be reliable, and every transgression or disobedience received a just retribution, 3how shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation? It was declared at first by the Lord, and it was attested to us by those who heard, 4while God also bore witness by signs and wonders and various miracles and by gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his will. 5For it was not to angels that God subjected the world to come, of which we are speaking. 6It has been testified somewhere, “What is man, that you are mindful of him, or the son of man, that you care for him? 7You made him for a little while lower than the angels; you have crowned him with glory and honor, 8putting everything in subjection under his feet.” Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control. At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him. 9But we see him who for a little while was made lower than the angels, namely Jesus, crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. 10For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering. 11For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source. That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers, 12saying, “I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.” 13And again, “I will put my trust in him.” And again, “Behold, I and the children God has given me.” [14Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, 15and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. 16For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. 17Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. 18For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

 

Gospel: Mark 10:2-16

 2Pharisees came up and in order to test {Jesus} asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7’Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 10And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” 13And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. 14But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. 15Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” 16And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.

 

 Marriage, God’s Amazing Gift

Comedian Brian Kiley once said, “I love being married.  When I was single, I got sick of finishing my own sentences.”  A pastor was teaching on Proverbs 16:24 which reads: “Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”  The minister then added, “In other words, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”  A woman in the Bible study decided to give this advice a try.  She leaned over, put her head on husband’s shoulder and whispered in his ear, “I just love to watch your muscles ripple when you take out the garbage.”

Our First lesson for today, and our passage from St. Mark’s Gospel, is about marriage.  And because of the Religious leaders’ questions to Jesus, it’s also about the painful subject of divorce.  The subjects of marriage and divorce aren’t new issues; they’ve been the topic of songs, articles, books, and questions posed to leaders for centuries.  And while matrimony has brought countless couples, and families, decades of happiness, divorce has been breaking hearts and homes for several millennia and it continues to plague our families and society today.

I suspect the instability of families today could partially explain the nostalgia many people have for the 1950s.  Today, we live in a world very different from those seemingly innocent days of the mid-20th century.  And while technology has added to our lives such things as computers, smart phones, and other material goodies, with these changes have come longer working hours, more stress, less family time around the dinner table, more disposable income, and less free time to enjoy it.  Today, we live in an immediate society; we expect everything instantly, this includes satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment.  And when we become unsatisfied, we replace whatever is making us unhappy, this includes marriage.

A few of you can remember the days of black and white television when major TV networks carried shows like “Father Knows Best”, “Ozzie and Harriet”, and a later show called “Happy Days”.  The norm for these programs was a family with a working husband, and a wife who stayed at home, lovingly devoted to her husband and children.  At least that was the image the media attempted to portray.  However, many of you can remember the 60’s, and the following decades, and how they changed our image of family and marriage.  That change was based on a single idea; the individual comes first.

With the 60’s and 70’s came the notion of free love, individualism, feminism, and the ultimate goals of the un-holy trilogy, self-determination, self-liberation, and self-exultation.  Personal achievement was elevated above all else.  Self-help gurus, motivational speakers, and so-called management experts told us to focus on getting ahead, no matter the cost, and forget things like sacrifice, chivalry, and the care of others first.  We love to quote Psalm 8 verse 5, “you have made [us] a little lower than God, and crowned [us] with glory and honor”.  So, we strive to become little gods.

This embraced teaching of self above all else, the elevation of ourselves to demi-god status, has paved the way for self-centeredness, self-promotion, and self-worship, leaving behind the God given directive of love and self-sacrifice for God first and then others, including our spouse and families.  It created an opening for a consumer-based culture that forces many couples into dual income households in order to make ends meet, and to keep pace with the neighbors.  Additionally, this self above all else goal, has also put an undo emphasis on the physical appearance as the measure of attraction, ignoring other qualities like a personal relationship with God, personality, intellect, maturity, talents, gifts, and dedication.  And when someone is considering a perspective companion, how often have we heard the question asked, “are they good looking”?

If the person in question is, by societal standards, average looking, the typical response is, “well they have a great personality”; the implication being, that all other qualities are a distant second prize.  With the onset of the 60’s and the ism’s that followed, the physical aspect of any relationship, and an individual’s happiness, have become a top priority of when and why to remain in a relationship.  And the unfortunate result is the disposability of marriages.  And the result is that divorce, much less common during the 50s, now affects 60% of the children in America before they reach age eighteen.  This is why Jesus’ teachings on marriage, and the uncomfortable subject of divorce are so important today.

In St. Mark’s gospel, the religious leaders approach Jesus with what they think is a trick question.  Their intension was to trap Him in one of the current societal problems; that of marriage and divorce.  They didn’t come to learn from Jesus; they were enemies who were trying to catch Him in a violation of the Law of Moses.  They wanted to discredit Him, to do away with Him.  They wanted Him off their backs and out of the public eye.  So, they came to test Him asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”  They, just like society today, had forgotten the beautiful picture from the first two chapters of Genesis, of God creating woman from man’s side as an equal partner in the marital relationship.

Notice, if you will, what Jesus says in response to the Pharisees’ question.  “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law.”  So maybe the ism’s of the 60’s and 70’s are simply an indication of humanity’s age old battle with sin and the self.  It’s the struggle to elevate the self to the level of God, to pursue our wants, greeds, and desires above all else; these are the sins that are at the center of the problem.

Recall in the first creation story, God made them male and female and blessed them in order that they might complement and support each other.  It wasn’t until the fall, that the physical aspects came into the picture.  The Ish and Ishshah, Adam and Eve, were commanded to tend the Garden, to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and care for God’s good creation.  It wasn’t until later, when temptation came, the desire to be like God, that sin entered creation, and they realized they were naked.  The physical attraction part of the marital equation came as a result of sin entering the world.  Humankind’s problem is, the physical aspect and the satisfaction of one’s own desires, became the primary basis for how many people enter into marriage.  And unfortunately, and too often, when happiness or appearance fade, the reason to be in a marriage fades as well.  As a result, many seek a divorce.

“Is it lawful for a man and woman to divorce?”, the religious leaders asked.  Knowing their hearts Jesus turns the question back on the Pharisees, “What did Moses command you”?  They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”  To this Jesus gave an interesting answer that surely shocked the Pharisees.  “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law.” So, it seems that marriage was as disposable then, as it is now.  Human nature really hasn’t changed much over the past 3500 or so years, has it?  However, Jesus wanted the Pharisees to know that Moses didn’t go far enough.

What Jesus wanted them to see, was that even the religious scholars had missed the whole point of the relationship between men and women.  People are not property, regardless of their gender.  People are not things to be used and then disposed of. Relationships are sacred, especially the marriage relationship.  In order to open their eyes, Jesus didn’t appeal to the Law of Moses as His authority.  In order to get them to refocus their thinking, Jesus goes all the way back to the story of creation.

“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law.”  Then Jesus goes back to the second chapter of Genesis.  “But at the beginning of creation,” Jesus continues, “God ‘made them male and female.’  ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  Marriage isn’t about the physical and self-satisfaction alone, it’s about two people merging not their real estate, but their hearts, their souls, and their minds.

Isn’t that the way we’re supposed to approach marriage?  Unfortunately, in today’s society, far too many get married with the idea, “Oh, well, if this doesn’t pan out, I can move on to someone else”.  They ask for God’s blessing on their choice of a bride or groom with the notion that if this doesn’t work out, Mr. or Ms. Right is still out there.  Forget the till death do us part stuff.  It’s more like “till I’m not happy anymore”, or “till someone better comes along”, or “till I fall out of love”.  That’s why marriages so quickly fall apart.  There’s no real commitment, it’s all about the physical attractiveness, the self-satisfaction.  A lifelong commitment is seen as outdated.  Jesus however, paints a much different picture; He wants us to see that, from the very beginning, God had a different intention in mind when He instituted marriage, the lifelong union of a man and a woman.

God’s design was that the marriage relationship is a gift.  It’s God’s way of providing a helpmate, a partner, someone who will always be there for us: “for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.”  God never intended for men, or women for that matter, to treat each other like property or an object to be possessed or worse yet, something to be abused.  God has something much, much better in mind for us.  “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

And Jesus clarified this statement further, later to His disciples when He said, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.  And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”  In other words, He was saying to His disciples, marriage is more than a legal contract between an man and a woman, so forget everything you’ve ever heard about marriage and divorce.  Here’s how it is.  Marriage is a sacred event, something instituted and blessed by God.  Divorce isn’t part of God’s plan, and remarriage is a sin.  I know these are strong words.  I know they make me uncomfortable, divorce has scared my family.  But this is how serious the subject of divorce is.  It cannot be taken lightly.

It’s so serious that we need to understand the Biblical implications.  If someone should ask, “What does the Bible say about divorce?” tell them you must consider three passages.  Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:1, a man can give his wife a certificate of divorce and walk away, having fulfilled the law.  Then Jesus said, “But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32).  Then St. Paul wrote, in I Corinthians 7:10-16, that it would be acceptable for a believer to divorce an unbeliever, but they must remain unmarried.  So we have three different passages on this important subject by the three leading lights in Scripture.  Of course, Jesus is the one true light, so we must give His teaching priority.

But notice that St. Paul felt emboldened to add to Jesus’ teaching.  This says to me that he understood that Jesus wasn’t giving us a legalistic formula for marriage and divorce when He gave this answer to the Pharisees.  He was answering a specific question within a specific context.  The Pharisees were looking for a loophole.  “Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife?”  Jesus didn’t really worry that much about what was legal.  He worried more about the attitude of the person and the affect that divorce has on people.

Good people were being damaged by the abuses of the marriage contract in Jesus’ time.  Jesus wanted them to see that this wasn’t what God intended marriage to be.  Marriage is a gift God has given us: the gift of a lasting relationship, the gift of affirming love, the gift of mutual support.  Jesus wanted them to focus on the gift and not on the law.  But it doesn’t always work out that way, even when we enter into a marriage with the best of intensions.

I know divorce happens.  It happens because of self-centeredness, abandonment, abuse, or infidelity.  It shouldn’t, but it does.  Jesus knows this.  He acknowledged this when He spoke of Moses and the hardness of human hearts.  Moses gave his edict because he knew how people were.  Some men were going to cast off their wives.  And, given the chance, some women will cast off their husbands.  Not everyone enters into marriage for the right reasons; some marry, in fact, for all the wrong reasons.  People sin.  People fail.  People fall.  That’s why we have forgiveness.  That’s why we have grace.

According to the Bible, does Jesus condemn divorced people?  No.  Is it adultery if a divorced person remarries?  Yes.  However, remember that Jesus said that even to look upon a woman with lust in your heart is adultery (Matthew 5:28).  Jesus wants us to focus on the condition of a person’s heart, not a legalistic approach to life.  Listen again to Jesus’ words in John chapter 8 to the woman who was caught in the very act of adultery, “Woman, where are they?  Has no one condemned you?”  “No one, sir,” she said.  “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared.  “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus declared in Matthew 12:31-32 that all sin is forgivable except blaspheming the Holy Spirit.  Jesus said, “Therefore I say to you, any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven.  Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it shall be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it shall not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.

So, even if we interpret Jesus’ words literally to mean that remarriage of a divorced person is a sin, forgiveness is available; there is no condemnation, not by the Master.  Divorce isn’t God’s plan for His children, and it should only be considered in the most trying of circumstances, but divorced people are loved by God just as much as the purest saint.  That said, let’s get back to Jesus main point.

Marriage is a gift from God.  From the beginning God intended marriage to be a lifelong commitment.  It’s not intended to be a burden, or a temporary arrangement until a better offer comes along, marriage is a blessing.  It can be the most wonderful thing that happens to us, if our hearts are one with each other as marriage partners, and our hearts are one with God.

A few years ago, there was a man whose wife became developed Alzheimer’s.  She lost her memory; she lost her ability to remember who she was or who anyone else was.  She was in a nursing home and her husband came by to sit beside her bed and be with her every day.  One of their sons told his father that he didn’t need to keep doing that because she didn’t remember who she was, and she didn’t remember who he was.  The man said: “I know she doesn’t remember anything, but I do.  I remember who she is, and I remember who I am.  I am the husband who said to her 55 years ago, I will love and cherish you for better or worse and in sickness and health.  And I intend to do just that.”

What a gift that man was giving to his wife, a gift that many of us one day may be required to give to the person we love.  Even more importantly, it’s a gift God offers to humanity; a lifelong partner to help us through life’s joys and sorrows.  It doesn’t always work out that way, even for the best of people.  Divorce happens.  It doesn’t make God happy, but neither does it change God’s love for the persons involved.  And it shouldn’t change our attitude toward them either.  Yes, marriage can be, and is, hard work.  But so is anything that’s lived out in this life.

From the beginning God instituted marriage to be between a man and a woman for companionship based on mutual respect, mutual satisfaction, mutual support, and shared love.  God blessed Adam and Eve, and blesses every marriage, with the intension of it being a lifelong commitment.  It’s not instant, nor was it intended to be disposable.  Marriage is God’s gift to us, a gift that God instituted to last a lifetime.

Amen

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